I bet youve always wondered whats in that teensie cup. Good guess, not magic, more likely a drug test. Full of surprises, its like trying to put together a puzzle without the corners. With everything from pee tests to hair samples, each more cryptic than the last. Shall we embark upon this whirlwind?
Let’s dream up a scenario where you step into this lab with a paper that might as well be your lottery winnings. Someone hands you a cup which may have already been specially designed for your pleasure. And now in what is routine yet a strange experience simultaneously you balance everything. While multitasking, you anxiously watch the clock as its hands move like it’s on a countdown, ticking to an election.
Why put ourselves through this, you ask. Well the fact is that keeping drugs out of workplaces, sports and other institutions is a top priority. Imagine if you will, a star athlete failed a test and claimed it was the poppy seed bagel. Or a big corporate honcho taking a ‘casual’ hit by accident. So many stories the tests could tell if only they could talk.
Different methods of taking samples are like a Swiss army knife. Urine tests – the go-to for the commoners. Hair tests – for those hard-core party goers. Even saliva and blood have their uses, this could almost pass as a spy team for your body. Like an omnipotent judge fueled by coffee and a relentless hawk.
The stakes on this can be pretty high. For some, jobs, sports careers and scholarships hang on the line. Talk about pressure! Mind you it runs both ways too – ensuring safety, accountability and fair play. The scales are never really even, are they?
Offer some empathy for those that have to go through these regularly. Truckers, sports persons and maybe parolees as well, living life on the edge or with a gun to their head without that safety net. Think of all the balls you need to juggle balancing all this routine checking with tracking the dates on a calendar for your next holiday.
You’re now inside this roller coaster. Next time anyone talks about drug tests, maybe youll just nod knowingly, realising its like a high-stakes scavenger hunt and not just another test. Life surely is a bag full of surprises.